February 28, 2011

500 ways to make money FAST! part deux

This guy quit work and started his own business.
This guy read my last tips and look at him now.

Start an escort service - Okay, so basically this means that you start whoring yourself/your girlfriend/your buddies. But you gotta do it the classy way - don't put ads on Craigslist and write how you "have sex for money". You have to advertise it as "girlfriend/boyfriend eexperience" where you actually spend time with your fat, ugly clients so that they can be seen with beautiful people such as you. You can ask crazy money from this, something like 100 bucks an hour. You have to be decent looking, of course.

Make your own porn - Amateur porn sells SO good. Just make a film with your boyfriend/girlfriend/friend and sell it to some amateur porn site (there are thousands of these). If you feel VERY productive you can make more stuff and create your own site. There's a lot of money in this, believe me.

Start a "quick loan" company - In Finland we have these companies which offer high interest "quick loans" for poor people (young alcoholics, drug addicts, etc.). All they have to do is send an SMS message and they get the money. These were the most profitable companies last year, so this should be good business. If your country doesn't have this kind of services, you should be the one to start the first one - you'll be filthy rich.

Start collecting debt - This is continuation to the last tip. Get to know some Russian/other Eastern European people, they are very good at collecting debt. These companies were also very profitable last year, probably because of these quick loans and recession.

Make children's music - I don't know any unsuccesful bands for kids. Kids are stupid and they listen to almost anything, just sing about dinosaurs, pokemons or some shit like that. You can also meet some hot single moms.

Don't forget to check the first part: 500 ways to make money FAST!

30 comments:

  1. Hahaha, all hilarious suggestions. I was considering writing a childrens book earlier. Easy to do, not many words, crappy art, kids are to stupid to know. Awesome.

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  2. Heck, I'm already doing all four.

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  3. i would love to work in escort service :3

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  4. Your blog has got to be my favorite and makes me chuckle every morning. thank you. childrens songs and hot moms it is

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  5. Making profit at the expense of others? Stay classy my good man ;)

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  6. another good one is to make amateur porn while running an escort service. hidden cameras!

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  7. The life of a porn actor... Getting paid for having sex with hot chicks, must be the life.

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  8. I wonder if anyone reading this will follow your advice lol

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  9. Loansharking takes a lot of balls, but the payout is massive from what I've seen

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  10. I love your blog, I'm totally following!

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  11. hahhah i can become rich thanks man :)

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  12. What about drawn porn? uh?
    Oh, you weren't serious... Uh... neither was I.

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  13. mmm.. I'm not really interested in prostitution (specially if it's myself), so I'll try with children's music: a SpongeBob cover band.

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  14. Awesome tips. And hilarious as usual.

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  15. These are actually some really good ideas, I might just open up my own loan company...

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  16. im starting a porno company that makes loans, and my escorts will be the wiggles

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  17. i think my girlfriend will not agree to make a sex tape... dont know why...

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  18. Hahah great read. The quick loan one sounds interesting.

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  19. oh,makes me laugh alone while i read this on my desk,,hahahah,im planning to quit my job....lol

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