Kill the commies!

I'm actually a socialist. I believe in social ownership and state control of economy, and I also believe that the state should provide all of its citizens some free services like healthcare. I've lived in Finland my whole life and I'm pretty happy about the free services I've had during my life. I mean, my teeth are straight, I have no deadly diseases and althought I've been out of work for long periods, I have not starved to death. I've also never had to live under a bridge, so that's a bonus.

But the welfare states are crumbling all over the Europe. In my home country they are trying to save it with desperate measures, eg. raising taxes and reducing the number of municipalities. I also heard that there are people who have been waiting dental checkout or knee surgery for YEARS. So obviously the system is not working.

Below is a graph of how much people pay taxes in Finland. On the left is the tax-% and at the bottom is the yearly income. As you can see it only goes up to 200 000 but above that the division of tax-% is pretty much the same. Until 50 000 euro the taxing is progressive but after that you see something strange. There is a lot of variation and around 150 000 yearly income you see people who actually pay no taxes at all. This is because in Finland we have no progressive taxing for unearned income, which is money from investments, dividends, etc. We have constant tax rate of 30% for unearned income and after tax deductions it can actually go down to zero. So, just like we have freeriders among the poor (and most of the time, lazy) people, we also have those at the top end of the income graph. I suppose it's same thing in the States, all other countries of Europe, and basically every country except Cuba and North Korea.

Tax rate by income in Finland (2009)

My plan is to pay zero taxes when I'm 40 and use all the benefits of our welfare state. I want to be ultimate parasite!

Why self-help books are useless

I've read few self-help books in my life, mostly because I was bored and couldn't handle anymore the of classics. Then I have browsed a few, just so I could confirm how full of bullshit they are. I mean, look at some of the covers: The Science of Getting Rich, The Greatest Saleman in the World, 4-hour workweek... what the fuck?! Are people so stupid that they actually believe this bullshit? Mostly these books have the same
content and only one who's getting rich by following them is the author and the writer. And some faggot listed these as the greatest self-help books of all time.

Self-help faggot: "Now just do what I did!"
Stupid reader: "Om nom noooom OK!"

"Well, these guys got rich by following their rules", you might say. Yes, they sure did, but here's the biggest thing why they are rich and you are not: you are not them. These people are often ambitious, cunning, socially active, hard working and sometimes they even look good! They have a skillset that allows them to thrive in the writing business and they have hit their jackpot writing their crappy book and got it published. Someone could make research (I won't, I'm too lazy) how many self-help books did NOT get published. I can make a summary of all self-help books (except those written by Tolle, but they are more like religion thingy if you ask me):

* Set goal
* Do thing that help you achieve that goal
* Stop doing things that prevent you from achieving that goal
* PROFIT

These books don't even include factors like luck and economy! And there's a reason for that too: when their books come out, the writers and authors are already kinda famous and they have no need for such thing. They already had their stroke of luck when they made millions of dollars with their shitty book. And good luck getting your shit running during the next recess (it's just around the corner...).

How do I manage with minimum working hours?

I think it's time to make a little update on this blog. The main reason why I haven't been writing for a while is because I still like my current job and my projects. I'm currently doing research at the University for around 10-20 hours a week and I do it just because I enjoy it. I wouldn't have to do it, since I have secured my income a while ago. How did I do it in under a year, you may ask.

I saved some money and invested it. I took huge risks and it paid off. I'm still investing into small startup companies that have a great, fresh idea that might change the Internet in some way. I'm also administrating few websites that bring me constant advertisement money. So I wouldn't have to work but I WANT to work because I enjoy what I do. As much as I hate free market and  capitalism, it has brought me the wealth and freedom to do anything I want. So how much do I earn? It varies between 500-6000 euros a month. Sometimes when I feel like I have more money than I need or can spend, I slow things down.

God I hate these pictures depicting startup companies. Fuck the suits!

Here's a little tip if you want to earn money investing: Check out small startup companies with unique ideas. Read Techcrunch, Slashdot, your local IT blogs, etc. to find good ideas for spending your money and try to contact these people through e-mail, phone... Cut the middleman, you don't really need them. You have to take risks and spend money to make money.

History of working hours

Back in the day, even the women were hotter.

Working time is the period of time that an individual spends at paid occupational labor. Many countries have regulations for a duration of work week, and for example in Finland the maximum hours of work week is 40. In 2008 Finnish people worked 40,3 hours a week which means that supposedly we love working overtime. Still we work less than Europeans in average (41,8 hours a week in 2008). Austrians work 44 hours a week and Irish for only 40 hours a week. Well, this seems decent, right? Let's look some figures outside Europe - Chinese work for 2200 hours a year, Japanese around 2000 hours. Now I'm going to make a guess how this will affect these countries. China will have (and probably already has) a lot of problems with depression and stress. Japanese already has one of the highest suicide rates in the world, and this is mainly because of depression and social pressure.


For long time anthropologists thought that hunter-gathering of our ancestors was a full day job. Actually these people worked less than five hours a day, while dividing the day to approximately 2 hour periods of gathering food or hunting game. "Nine-to-five" mindset wasn't invented until this fucker called George F. Johnson announced  that no American should have to work more than 40 hours per week. At the industrial age there was no regulation on work week and it could be anything from 2 hours to 16 hours per day. So why this system doesn't work anymore? Work has changed. Less and less people are working at mass industry, doing repetitive jobs at the assembly line. Today you have to be CREATIVE. This is so essential at the IT sector that it's sad when executives and managers don't realize this. You can't force creativity. 


I would like to see a person who writes good code 40 hours a week. These freaks probably exist, but I've never met anyone. I don't know how good point examples from movies make, but I'll use them anyway. In 'Social Network' by Fincher, Facebook was invented over time. It was not big fucking 'Eureka!' moment after tedious sitting at desk, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. All those ideas came from real life situations.


I really think that we should re-think the idea of work week and use hunter-gatherers as a good example. Work when you feel like it, have a break - be it long or short, and keep on working when you feel like it. Of course you must have some kind of deadlines but make them flexible. No one will die if your software is launched one week late. 


Check out docStout's blogs too, he writes a good (better!) blog about the same things. His blog can be found here.


References:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_time
http://www.ek.fi/www/fi/tyoelama/liitteet/kuvat_tyoaika_Suomessa_muissa_maissa.pdf

My thoughts on the future

As someone mentioned, now that I actually enjoy my work the name of the blog has lost some of its power, but let's keep it that way since I believe there will once again be a day when I will hate my job! Here's why: future is gonna suck for the most of us. Since the Industrial revolution of the 18th century we have been building our society on one principle - growth. Everything must grow, be it productivity, salaries, personal wealth, etc. Capitalism is system where EVERYTHING is based on that. It is like a religion where talking about downshifting or slowing down is forbidden. If you're not contributing to this system, you are considered a parasite who sucks on capitalisms big titties and give nothing back.

So what would happen if we stopped buying new cars, toys, tv's, computers, gadgets, etc.? The system would collapse. We already saw a glimpse of this collapse few years back when Lehman Brothers declared bankruptcy  - it affected the whole world. Many American citizens who didn't have the money wanted to buy a house and banks gave out crappy subprime loans to them just out of greed. Same thing would happen if people stopped buying stuff all of a sudden. Country's import/export would go stagnant and there would be no growth which is key element to success in capitalism. Of course this will happen eventually since resources on this planet are limited. Read this great comic by Stuart McMillen:

St. Matthew Island

'What's the solution then?' one might ask. I have no fucking clue. People have been advertising many solutions for me, one being the Zeitgeist Project, which is communism with technology sprinkled on top. I really don't believe that humans are capable of acting in large communist societies because of our greed and selfishness. We are also grasping too tightly for life of hedonism and NEVER want to give out the benefits we have. Some individuals can do this, but most of us can't. I'm very pessimistic about our future on this planet and therefore try not to take part of the rape of it that's happening at the moment. I've been giving out gained benefits and would eventually want to shift to simple life like this Finnish guy: Pentti Linkola.

Responds to comments

A dialog

I think that blogs should be dialogue, not a monologue. I just realized that mine has been the latter one and I want to fix that now. Here are some comments to your comments:

"i have heard these type of stories every now and then. i dont know how a little incidence changes lives of people and how do meet their dream. it does not happen with me. i am really stressed. i dont know what to do. people get oppurtunities. i have not come across even one. what should i do ? :'(" -Anonymous

Well, they happen to some people. It probably won't happen to you, unless you do something about it. If you're stressed, you should find out the reason for that. Is it because you hate your job? Is it because it's too time consuming or too challenging? If it is, quit. I know this can be difficult specially if you live in a country with no welfare or other source of income other than work, but think it like this: It's your fucking life and you can do anything you want with it. It may take you a while to fulfill your dream but with hard work it's possible (unless you want to be a supermodel and are ugly as fuck... or professional basketball player as a white guy). I used to do things the way I thought other people wanted me to do them, and that caused me a lot of stress and headache. Now I do what I WANT to do and am quite happy. Fuck everyone else!

"How hard is to a brazilian get a visa to live in your country?" - Eu otro Eu

You're probably just joking with this question but because I'm such a nice guy, I'll answer anyway: it's fucking hard! It's kinda ironic that coming to work to Finland is a lot harder than coming as humanitarian refugee. When you come to Finland to work you actually have to have a nice chunk of money at your bank account, and you have to prove that you get more of it from somewhere (can be work or your relatives). Language is very hard to learn and althought people speak English quite well they usually communicate in Finnish. There's also the problem with qualifications - Finnish people don't like qualification papers from abroad and it can be difficult to prove that you actually know how to your job. We are also somewhat racist.

"Have not seen you post a new blog for a long time, I hope you did not lose your job HA!" - #19

I've had some motivation problems lately with this blog but I'll try to write more in the near future! I actually suffer of this thing called Borderline Personality Disorder where I get very (too) excited about something for a while and lose interest soon after. I have many sites I have created in the past (most of them porn, actually!) and I'm starting to update that shit again, including this blog.

My dream job

It's easy as ABC

Ok, so people have been asking me why I don't just quit my job and look for a better one? Actually, I already did that. Reason for not writing in a while is that I've been doing some work, designing some new web concepts and also planning my wedding. But about my job - I quit my well paying job few years back and decided to go back to study some more computer science. In Finland state pays you small amount of money per month if you study, so that you really don't need any savings for that.

I studied for one year and it was the most relaxing thing in years. I just went to courses that I was interested in and I wasn't responsible to anyone but myself. After studying a year I applied for a position at the university. Salary was very bad but work was everything I could hope for - the working hours were very flexible and I didn't have to make money for the evil stockholders and other rich people. During my studies I really learned to live with less, and even this crappy money was enough to get me enough food and drink, even luxuries.

I'm still working at Uni and I love it! Our projects are way cooler than elsewhere, we can do stuff with new technologies that aren't used anywhere else and people who work there are actually interested in their jobs. How do I know this? Well, they are very competent people and still work for crappy money. They could go to top notch jobs anytime they wanted, but they decide to stay because the work is so much fun.

So, at least to me the key to happy working was to find the right job - surprisingly it had nothing to do with money. I just had to realize that I don't have to buy a "50 plasma tv, a fast car, big house etc.

Recreational days at work

In Finland almost all companies have recreational days for their employees. It means that the company pays it's workers for drinking and being idiots. I think the idea behind these days is very good - it COULD help employees get to know each other and maybe co-operate better afterwards. There are several reasons why this does not work in Finland. Here are few of them:

Alcohol - Finnish people like to drink. A lot. Free booze and Finnish people is possibly the worst combination you can think of. We become aggressive, horny and drooling idiots who have no self-control. I have seen awkward flirting, vomiting, terrible dancing etc. from my bosses (not my current boss, he's cool). I don't know if having sex with your secretary will help co-operating at work (or your marriage).

Finnish "small talk" - There are always people who for some reason don't drink. In these recreational happenings these people don't get noticed, at all. Nobody is interested in them. Finnish people really can't have relaxed conversations without alcohol.

Cliques - These probably exist in every country and workplace. Some examples: 

• Housewives who talk about giving birth, how to raise your kids properly, etc. 
• Nerds who talk about ... well, nerd stuff. 
• Middle management who talk about money, business, sales, etc. 
• Consultants who kiss each others asses

At all my previous jobs these cliques existed. I really felt like I don't belong.

I got the inspiration for this blog post from this comic. It's from Finnish magazine Myrkky and it's about what happens in Finnish "mini-Christmas" parties. That's quite accurate, actually. 

Time management and salary

"Come to us for free money!"

I'm very lucky to be living in Finland - we have very good social security and we get money from the government for all sorts of stuff. So I made some calculations: Let's assume that person studies approximately 5,5 years for a job title (3 years in vocational school or 3+5 years in university or 3+4 years in polytechnic). Usually you have to study like 6 hours a day, which makes 30 hours in a week and 130 in a month. You study for 9 months in a year and therefore you study roughly 1170 hours a year. So 1170 * years of studying is approximately the time you use to GET TO WORK.

Ok, so graduate and go to work. That's 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week and 160 hours a month. When you take off vacations and midweek holidays, you'll get something 10 months of working in a year. That's 1600 hours of work in a year, so if you graduate when you're 25, you're work career will probably last like 40 years. That's 64 000 hours of your life, working.

In Finland we have this bureuacracy office called Kela, which basically pays you money when you're unemployeed, studying, have a child, etc. They pay you 550 euros / month. In a year you get 6600 euros, and you pay ~10% tax off that (funny how in Finland we collect taxes to pay those unemployment support and when you get the money you pay taxes off of that...) So in the end you get 5940 euros / year. If you make around 3000 euros / month in your job, you make around 36 000 euros / year. About 1/4 goes to taxes so you're left with roughly 27 000 euros / year.

So, working for 40 years you make around million euros. That's crazy money! But check this out: if you DON'T work, you get 237 600 euros. That's not bad either! If you assume that Kela stuff takes around 5 hours a month from you, you get 110 euros / hour from them. At work you earn 16,50 euros / hour. I understand people who enjoy working and consider it as one of the greatest things in life. Some even call it their life (poor bastards...). After I did the calculations above, I'm even more convinced that working is not for ME.

Please comment.

Back in business

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, been very busy with work and other stuff. I'll write up longer blog post later today, until then I present you a comic that is so true it hurts:

Other blogs, part 1

I often read other blogs at work. It makes the day go faster, and I enjoy reading well written stuff. I'm going to recommend you few blogs that I read regularly. There are many others I read, but these I like the most.

Habitable zones of the Internet - I've always been kind of interested in astronomy, space and other stuff that I have hard time understanding. This guy writes about it so well that even I understand. He even asks people's questions once in a while. Good read.

I didn't know that! - Trivia stuff, things you probably didn't know about, etc. Articles are not too long and they are easy to digest. 

Diary of a future medical student (hopefully) - Jesse writes very well and his life is actually quite interesting. He also draws comics and drawings explaining chemistry, etc.

Mudcrabs; more fearsome than I. - I'm not very interested in gaming and I don't really play any games other than Freecell and Civ 4, but Rinns's blog is still a good read. She writes very well and also uses drawings.

All these blogs are updated regularly (almost daily) which is good for bored person like me. I suppose they're all native English speakers since they write so well and the text is easy to read and understand (unlike mine!). Check them out, you won't be disappointed.

Confessions of a job hater

I was having a conversation at this forum about working and I really liked what this one guy wrote. I asked for his permission to translate it to English and publish it in my blog and he said yes. Enjoy!

"I know how you feel, I was in a same situation few years back. For many years I listened to stuff about Nokia stock. At least in the beginning of the millenia this was very common topic among little yuppies. I thought it was superficial. Few years back there was this show on TV called The Apprentice by Donald Trump. My friend used to hum the tune of that show ("money, money, money" or something like that) while he told me that he had bought new speakers 50 000 € a piece. He told me that he had invested over 200 000 € into HiFi with golden cables. He also claimed to have spent 5000 € on men's fragrances. After that he mumbled something about his new Mercedes.

God I hate my job!

There are many reasons why I lost my enthusiasm to work. One was when I realized that succeeding in the IT was like playing the lottery - worth of one product could be billions, other's 0. Even thought both developer (or dev teams) may be equally good, success is usually based on good luck.

I started to hate my job even more when I realized that old phrase "Work is everything" doesn't apply. Harder I tried to work and build my career, more I felt like I was getting bogged down in the swamp of despair. More projects I had, more insecure I got. I didn't have any luck with the projects I did, even thought they were completed in time and without faults. In Finnish working culture you're nothing if you're at wrong side of the fence.

It's no surprise that people in Finland apply for governmental jobs with simple job description and good pensions without any profit responsibilities. The other option, working for the companies, is too risky and even then most of the profits go to business managers, investors and other people who did nothing for the results.

I visited a doctor some time ago saying that I can't get anything out of my job. He tried to prescribe me some antidepressants but I know that there are deeper, philosophical reasons for me hating working. I think I could work for few days a week and live a simple life, and for the rest of the time I could do something I love (procrastinating for example!). But as long as the system does not approve that, I will use every trick in the book and do nothing at work from now on."

I don't know if something crucial was lost in translation, but I think this guy is right: Working is not worth it anymore.

Work for yourself - part 2

Okay, I'm going to write more about stuff I know nothing of - working for yourself and actually making some money. Here are more guidelines for you to consider:

I mean, seriously?

Don't believe everything you read - If you Google (I love Google, can you tell?) "make money at home" you get over billion search results. "Make money on the Internet" returns 268 million results. Most of this stuff is crap - they are usually some sort of pyramid schemes or scams that aim for your wallet, not your success. You could always hop in the scam wagon and do the same, but that's not very sustainable business model, and it has it's risks (going to jail and get gangraped). Here are some sites that I have found useful during my shot career at Internet business:

Steve Pavlina - Personal development for smart people : That site has hundreds of quality articles about making money in the Interwebs, I highly recommend reading them.

ProBlogger : Very good tips for bloggers. Lots of long and informative articles about blogging and how to make money with it.

CozyFrog Academy : CozyFrog helps you start your own adult business, if you're interested in that sort of thing. Most of the tips and articles there can be applied for general websites too. You'll learn the basics here (niches, traffic, what you need for working at home, etc.)

Not all ideas are good

You can't force creativity - Good ideas usually when least expected. Don't try to force these, since you can't force creativity. Here's a quote from movie Pi:

"You remember Archimedes of Syracuse, eh? The king asks Archimedes to determine if a present he's received is actually solid gold. Unsolved problem at the time. It tortures the great Greek mathematician for weeks - insomnia haunts him and he twists and turns in his bed for nights on end. Finally, his equally exhausted wife - she's forced to share a bed with this genius - convinces him to take a bath to relax. While he's entering the tub, Archimedes notices the bath water rise. Displacement, a way to determine volume, and that's a way to determine density - weight over volume. And thus, Archimedes solves the problem. He screams "Eureka" and he is so overwhelmed he runs dripping naked through the streets to the king's palace to report his discovery."

Feel like your brain is dysfunctional? Take a day off, go to a spa, have a drink with friends, etc. You'll be surprised how those ideas start coming when you least expect them.


Outsource boring stuff - You don't have to do everything by yourself. Get some cheap labor from Asian countries (you can hire English-fluent article writers from Indonesia). Buy your web design from desperate university students who'll work cheaper than the Indonesian people. Blackmail your girlfriend/boyfriend/neighbor to do the boring, repetitive labor.

I really don't know if this stuff is interesting, so maybe you readers could tell me. Should I write more about working for yourself or just that regular bullshit about how I still hate my job and working in general? Comments, please.

Work for yourself

Ok, so you hate your job? Why do it then? You can always work for yourself. I'm going to start a new blog series rambling about how this can be achieved - less bullshit, more tips (dunno if they're any good, tho). You might ask if I have achieved anything in the entrepreneur business, and the answer is no. I have only made some scraps but I know the exact reasons for this: I'm lazy and I can't concentrate on things for a long period. So if you're like me, don't do it, it'll just be a waste of time.

Now that everything is in Internet you don't really have to invest a lot of money. You don't even have to sell anything. Take blogs for example: you can make thousands of dollars in a month with Blogger blog and AdSense. Of course this is not easy and there are only few people who live on it, but it is possible. Starting cost for this kind of business is the cost of your Internet Service Provider. Actually Google provides you with all the tools you need for monitoring your business. I'm not going to write about how to use these tools and how to make your blog/site popular with crazy traffic, because there are hundreds of blogs telling you how. If you don't know how to Google them, don't start your own business. Just don't.

Here are some pointers that you should consider when thinking of starting your own business:

Be original - Don't start selling imported gadgets from China or general t-shirts with "original" quotes. Google is again your friend here. Google "buy t-shirts" and you get 418 000 000 results. "buy quote t-shirts" gives you 92 700 000 results. You really wanna start competing with this? The market is saturated, there's no room for you anymore, unless you come up with great ideas. How long has there been clothes for dogs? And how big thing they are now? Exactly. Come up with an original idea, like clothes for birds or goats (there's actually at least one store that sells clothes and shoes for goats). Something that no one has done before. 

Steal... I mean loan ideas - There's nothing wrong with "loaning" ideas. Of course there's contradiction between being original and stealing but if you can't be original, steal. Check out this stolen picture which I found from the Interwebs, there's truth in it:

Think of Tarantino - he "loans" from old classic and cult movies and makes them better. Kill Bill and Inglorious Basterds, both great movies but most of the stuff is stolen from other movies. IB is actually a remake of action movie from the 70's. Another example: World of Warcraft - not much original ideas there, they just took the best ideas from other games and made them better. Steal and make it better so they can't sue you!

Prepare to work a lot for no money - All businesses take time to start up and grow. Facebook and YouTube were not made in a day. You're probably going to spend more than gain in the first few months (or a lot longer) and there are not many industries where you can make money fast and easy. If you want fast results start a appealing pyramid scheme but also prepare for the consequences!

Ok, most of these are no-brainers for you guys but hopefully this is helpful to someone. Tomorrow I will write more guidelines and tips about starting your own business. I think I call this series "Guidelines for your own business from a guy who has never achieved anything in his life". Nah, too long. "Read this and do the exact opposite" is better I think.

Comments and questions are welcome.

Should everyone work?

Couldn't come up with any picture ideas on this, so here's
a picture of frog.

From Black's Law Dictionary page 471 (5th ed. 1979) on work: "A person in the service of another under any contract of hire, express or implied, oral or written, where the employer has the power or right to control and direct the employee in the material details of how the work is to be performed." I don't know why that sounds fucked up to me, but it does. Here in Finland we have very good social security and people actually get paid for doing nothing. In that case your only "job" is to fill up papers and take them to different bureaucratic organizations we have here. People get paid for doing nothing and still they complain. I suppose you can call me a commie or socialist or whatever but I think the system is good. I think poor people should be helped by the rich, and if it's not voluntary then it should be involuntary (paying taxes). So, here in Finland we pay crazy taxes - some people pay over 50% of their salaries as taxes. For that we get free health care and social services.

Okay, so why should I work? I don't enjoy it and I'm not giving anything to the community. I guess I could ask this question from all the people who really don't like working - why should you? Of course I understand that some other people pay for my living, but isn't that better situation than me working and taking job from someone who actually enjoys work? There are always rotten eggs and parasites but for some reason government doesn't want to admit it. Every election year members of parliament are talking about 100% employment rate and how they're going to achieve it. Well here's a wake up call for you - you're not. Because of people like me.

I wrote about this stuff back in 2008 and got a comment from a person who supports the Zeitgeist Movement. He asked my opinion on the movement and I never answered, so I answer now: I think it's communism with a little twist (technology). It's utopia and therefore it's never going to happen. Humans are brutal, self-centered assholes and most of them will never share money or other commodities with other people. Of course it would be nice if we could live without borders and work together towards a better world, but that's not going to happen. There's my answer, hope it satisfies you.

Coffee keeps us going

Mmm... drugs....

A large percentage of Finnish (and others, but let's narrow the scope) start their day by ingesting some sort of coffee beverage. As we all know, caffeine is a moderate stimulant. If coffee was invented today, it would probably be regulated and only available with prescription. Coffee is the fuel for the common white collar worker. It's a social drug, just like nicotine. But it also has positive effects on your health. These are my favorite effects of coffeine (I drink tea, but it contains coffeine too):

Laxative effects - I challenge you to stay away from toilet after three cups of coffee or 5 cups of tea in the morning. If you wanna go hardcore mode, smoke few cigs too.

Coffeine is a mild diuretic - More piss -> more toilet visits -> less work!

Caffeine causes sleep disturbances - Paper at school due tomorrow? Need to finish that report at work ASAP? Drink 12 cups of coffee and you're good to go.

Two cups of coffee reduce significantly post-gym muscle pain - Caffeine consumed one-hour before going to the gym induces a 48 % decrease in pain; those who drink caffeine before the near-maximum force test have 26 % drop in soreness. Useful for all you P90X people!

And the best for the last:

Caffeine gets women in the mood for sex, especially in moderate amounts and when the women are not heavy drinkers. The chemical is also known to increase excitability in men.

Nobody cares about the negative effects, right? Anyway, here are some.

Stereotypes at work

Besserwisser: "This Dostojevski is like, soooo
interesting"

During my working years I've noticed some stereotypes at work place. This is probably an universal phenomenon but here are some stereotypes I've seen in Finland:

Besserwisser from the graphics department - These always go with the latest fashion trends (I think it's hipster now...). At lunch break they discuss about jumpcut scenes of French avant-garde movies, why Mac is better than PC (well, it isn't so fuck you), shittiness of new progrock/freejazz album or opening of a new trendy cafe. About 80% of these are women, 10% gays and rest of them are - well, technically - men.

Middle aged engineers - At lunch break these guys discuss about building a new terrace, changing diapers, buying a new SUV, how fucking hot new Miss Finland looks and that trip to Lapland next summer with the wife and kids. Young people usually laugh at the engineers only to realize that in 5 years they are in similar situation. The society WILL convert you.

Middle aged women from the helpdesk - At lunch break they discuss about price of groceries, sex scandals of Prime Minister (this was happening already back in 2008, he decided to quit and take a better paying job. Still screwing with younger chicks, tho), Dancing with the Stars, brutality of school massacres, things they did with husband last weekend (sometimes gets a bit too intense and intimate!) and as a bonus - news from the tabloids. Sometimes it seems like these women live off the tabloids and misery of other people.

All the above groups will burn eternally in hell. Some other groups include:

Nerds - Well, I guess you all know these guys. Usually nerd don't speak to other people. If they do however, it's in code ("dedicated server linux ip address hosts iä iä cthulhu fhtagn!").

Interns - They don't speak and are not spoken to. You know the drill.

Short post for today

Sorry, not going to make long post today. I've had some serious insomnia issues for a week now, my head is a wee bit fucked up at the moment and I can't really think straight. This must be devastating news to all my 2 readers out there. I promise to write as soon as I feel better and can get some proper sleep.

Your job in one sentence

Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert) asked people to describe their jobs with one sentence. These are some of the answers he got:

My job is...
... mostly looking out of a window (pilot)
... to run away and call the cops (guard/watchman)
... to make sure that stupid people stay in the gene pool (lifeguard)
... to cut and paste stuff from the Internet (student at the university)
... speak while people sleep (lecturer at the university)
... to surf the webs all day long (this one's mine!)

So i guess other people have boring jobs too. How would you describe your job (or life situation in case you're unemployed) with one sentence?

Studying is hard work

500 ways to make money FAST! part deux

This guy read my last tips and look at him now.

Start an escort service - Okay, so basically this means that you start whoring yourself/your girlfriend/your buddies. But you gotta do it the classy way - don't put ads on Craigslist and write how you "have sex for money". You have to advertise it as "girlfriend/boyfriend eexperience" where you actually spend time with your fat, ugly clients so that they can be seen with beautiful people such as you. You can ask crazy money from this, something like 100 bucks an hour. You have to be decent looking, of course.

Make your own porn - Amateur porn sells SO good. Just make a film with your boyfriend/girlfriend/friend and sell it to some amateur porn site (there are thousands of these). If you feel VERY productive you can make more stuff and create your own site. There's a lot of money in this, believe me.

Start a "quick loan" company - In Finland we have these companies which offer high interest "quick loans" for poor people (young alcoholics, drug addicts, etc.). All they have to do is send an SMS message and they get the money. These were the most profitable companies last year, so this should be good business. If your country doesn't have this kind of services, you should be the one to start the first one - you'll be filthy rich.

Start collecting debt - This is continuation to the last tip. Get to know some Russian/other Eastern European people, they are very good at collecting debt. These companies were also very profitable last year, probably because of these quick loans and recession.

Make children's music - I don't know any unsuccesful bands for kids. Kids are stupid and they listen to almost anything, just sing about dinosaurs, pokemons or some shit like that. You can also meet some hot single moms.

Don't forget to check the first part: 500 ways to make money FAST!